Unfortunately, this post probably isn't going to be as funny as the movie that shares its title, arguably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Last week when I posted I was on a tremendous high, anticipating that all the hard work I've been doing over the past years was finally coming to fruition. The (perhaps inevitable) follow up to that post is, not surprisingly, the hangover :(

When those maternity nurses I talked about last week come to work on the 4th day of their 8 day stay, they know their 'patient' is going to have some kind of terrible, embarrassing crying fit. They told me this 4 days after Nathan was born, when I was in the middle of one such fit.

It makes it all the worse to know you're that predictable. You're a hostage to your hormones, a sad cliché ...

And I found myself in that place again this past weekend. This web shop is like my 4th child. Last Friday it finally went live/was born at www.elliecashman.com. Unfortunately, it hasn't (in my book) earned a 10 on the Apgar scale of web shops - yet. A few things are still missing/not functioning properly.

webshopforblog

I was so looking forward to sending out my big MailChimp (birth) announcement and writing gleefully about the whole experience on my blog. I was expecting a marching band, Arsenio Hall fist pumps ... I wanted to spike the football in the end zone and run a victory lap, trophy in hand. Then top it all off with some embarrassing dance moves.

But it just wasn't quite there yet.

Last Friday, I realized I would have to refrain from all-out celebration, just a little bit longer ...

And there I was, sort of in limbo. The site was live, but at the same time I wasn't ready to take it full speed to the masses, shout it from the rooftops, etc.

So I decided to devote my afternoon to the design I'm currently working on. I'm about 2 months in and have at least that many months to go. It's such slow-going, but I'm hacking away at the thick brush of it. If I'm lucky, I have a couple of (consecutive?) hours to work on it each day.

Here's a super sneak peek:

meticulous

Last Friday my husband took the afternoon off of work so that I could have some glorious, uninterrupted time with it. I was finally getting somewhere, was starting to think ahead to relaxing on my living room couch with a glass of wine and a good movie, when my Mac froze and I lost 3 hours of unsaved work on it! Argh!! Can't you just feel the anxiety in your chest?? I thought I was going to throw up!

I know, I know, how could I be so stupid? I usually save every half hour. This was just bad, bad luck.

And, at the end of a disappointing day, this was enough to push me over the edge, into the deep, dingy pit of postpartum blues.

I was determined to claw my way out, but that meant foregoing that glass of wine. Every 'free' moment I had this past weekend was devoted entirely to stubbornly trying to turn my Mac misfortune into a blessing in disguise. I decided to grant myself a reprieve from this huge undertaking of a design and do something 'fun' (albeit at my computer).

A few months ago, my cousin-in-law, who will be only the 15th midwife in the history of Netherlands to receive her PhD, asked me if I would design the cover of her dissertation for her. It's an honor, of course.

She was envisioning two birds as symbols of the cooperation between mother and child/mother and midwife, etc. So this weekend I left my Dark Floral #2, monstrous 17th-century floral still life wallpaper design on the shelf, and I cranked this out.

marritkaft

We still want to play with it, with the colors, scale, maybe remove some elements. But at least it felt good to 'finish' something in a short period of time. Which has me thinking that I need to work on quick, loose designs like this at the same time I'm working on the meticulous monsters. For the sake of my mental health!

But now, it's time to get back to that beast!

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